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| Check-in Time with My Body |
| 07.27.04 (1:11 pm) [edit] |
I completely took the day off from working out yesterday and it was the most energized I’ve felt in a couple of weeks. I’m not sure if the difference was getting extra sleep or the lack of energy draining activity. Unfortunately, the two factors go hand in hand for me. I’ve been really exhausted and barely keeping my eyes open lately. And all the caffeine in the fridge has not helped. Hopefully, eventually, my body will simply adjust to doing its most difficult task first thing in the morning.
Lately, I hop on the scale every chance I get. I know it’s generally inadvisable but I’m so excited to see the needle in the vicinity of 190 instead of 200 (where it used to hang out allll the time) that I have to keep checking to reassure myself of the reality. I haven’t even reached my first 10 pound goal and I love weighing myself.
On the other hand, I was disturbed recently to realize that I’ve been at this for about two months. I don’t feel like I’ve made the progress that I secretly expected. I expected the first pounds to drop off like clothes in a porno but this has not been true. I’m also bothered that I don’t feel more fit. I can see progress in weights and resistance work. I don’t see improvements in any cardio activities. In fact, some times I think I tire more easily, especially today. Actually, I just start out tired (-see beginning of entry).
I wonder if I’m not pushing myself hard enough or I’m doing something wrong. I don’t want to push myself so hard that my goals are unattainable and I feel guilty and stuff. I’m contemplating getting a session with a personal trainer. Of course, I’m tempted to just bag everything and go back to my hedonistic ways but I’m convinced that a balanced diet and regular exercise are the only ways to achieve my goals. I know that you have to take a break every now and then but I don’t feel like I’ve earned it. And I don’t feel like I’ve plateaued (or rather, I’ve never gone up or down to a place to plateau). Eh, I think I’ll just go step on the scale again and maybe these thoughts will pass.
Been so long since I blogged will anybody read this? :?
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| Ordering coffee.. |
| 06.14.04 (11:15 am) [edit] |
Last night I was at Starbucks and I was reminded of a Times article that there are [b]19,000 ways to order coffee at Starbucks[/b]. It’s kind of mind boggling but I can see how it can be possible. Do you suppose it includes my grande soy chai?
I have to include my wee ancedote that I was telling someone recently that I, a non-coffee drinker/consumer of any kind, have become so consumed by the coffee culture that I don’t understand any other. I always, always order a grande soy chai. (Okay, not always but a grande tea is not terribly different.) Once, outside of my home city, I ordered my grande soy chai and was asked if that was a twelve ounce or sixteen ounce. I have no freaking idea. It’s the one that’s about this tall, I say, holding my hands about seven inches apart.
So, it might be true after all... yay for coffee!
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| Working Out! |
| 06.03.04 (7:17 am) [edit] |
I have slowly started to work out lately. It’s hard. So hard. This is the most out of shape I have ever been. One of the most frustrating aspects of exercising is that I can’t perceive an improvement from day to day. In the first couple of weeks of increasing my physical activity, I usually find that the next time I can run farther, rollerblade faster, or breathe easier. I can’t feel any of these things happen.
I feel confused because I don’t feel like myself. I don’t recognize this person who gets winded just from running the length of a city block. I was afraid of this. I didn’t want to experience Fat Me. But I don’t want to be Fat Me anymore. I want to be healthier Me.
Keep reading »
Just days before I started my vacation I was finally ready to start a weight-loss regimen. I felt capable and motivated but I decided to wait until I returned because I was sure I wouldn’t be able to (or want to) be so disciplined while abroad. It was a good decision because there was a lot of delicious food and I wanted it. (And I wouldn’t have found the motivation to run or anything while there.)
When I got back, however, I wasn’t the killer motivated exercising machine that I dreamed of. I was more the jet-lagged grumpy confused lump. I remembered the plans to start working out my first day back. But I couldn’t remember the feeling of motivation. I was moping.
Luckily, one day, Melissa asked if I wanted to go run with her as she trained for her first triathalon. And even more luckily, I said yes. I don’t remember even thinking about my answer. It rather popped out. I kept the appointment. It was enough to get me started; I don’t understand exactly how. I’m meeting my current goal to get at least three days of aerobic exercise per week. I’ve gone running with Melissa three times now. And Obie keeps the pace up.
I missed going rollerblading this morning (-sleep, tiredness, rain-) but I’m okay with it because I have five days to get in two more activities. I’m trying to set managable goals. And I like Amy’s system of reward. I think I’m going to tweak it for me to be ten pounds of goodies for ten pounds lost. Or get something retail related. The ultimate reward is going to be a lovely pair of jeans (and my smoking body). :P
It's ever so hard though! :(
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| HAPPINESS. |
| 05.11.04 (9:26 am) [edit] |
It's been a while since I posted on my blog. Just easier to comment on other peoples blogs. I find a few really interesting and a must read whenever I am online. The likes of "Cyberpal":http://cyberpal.tblog.com; "Eve":http://evegurl.tblog.com; "Jazznote":http://jazznote.tblog.com; and "C":http://sunnyc.tblog.com; are really cool. Check them out, when you can.
[b]My post for today though is about Happiness. Some people look for Happiness, others make their own Happiness... Which is right?[/b]
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| Making love last. |
| 05.02.04 (7:24 am) [edit] |
I really want to know the secrets to making love last? I've asked my friends to share their secrets to lasting love and guess what -- it's not about roses and elaborate romantic schemes. They just seem to be winging it with practices and rituals that they share. Somehow I think there has got to be more to it. Anybody got a few ideas?
Mine are:
1. Be yourself: "The best way for a person to be romantic is by being your own self.
2. Express how you really feel: "Tell them how you really feel about them.
3. Pay attention: "The best way that I have found to show that you love that person is to pay attention to what they tell you.
4. A gesture a day: leave her short notes, either at work for her to find when she gets there, or via e-mail every morning reminding her how beautiful she is.... works for me.
Any more ideas? :D
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| The Immortality of Love. |
| 04.28.04 (11:46 am) [edit] |
This is part of Sothey's long poem "The Curse of Kehana" ....... just loved this when I read it and had to share.
[b]They Sin who tell us Love can die.
With life all other passions fly,
All others are but vanity.
In Heaven ambition cannot dwell,
Nor Avarice in the vaults of Hell;
Earthly these passions of the Earth,
They perish where they have their birth;
But Love is undestructible.
It's Holy flame for ever burneth,
From Heaven it came, to Heaven returneth;
Too oft on Earth a troubled guest,
At times decieved, at times oppressed,
It here is tried and purified,
Then hath in heaven it's perfect rest;
It soweth here with toil and care,
But the harvest time of Love is there.
Oh! when a mother meets on high
The babe she lost in infancy,
Hath she not then, for pains and fears,
The day of woe, the watchful night,
For all her sorrow, all her tears,
An over-payment of delight?[/b]
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| Breathtaking!! |
| 04.24.04 (1:16 pm) [edit] |
When you see that person,
You've craved your whole life.
When you look into his eyes,
And know that he wouldn't lie.
That's breathtaking.
When your on a busy street,
And you think about him.
When your eyes open wide,
Daydreaming of him.
That's breathtaking.
When you stop in your tracks,
Just to see his face.
When you smile,
When you hear his name.
That's breathtaking.
When he smiles,
And your knees get weak.
When your mind draws blank,
When he's not around.
That's breathtaking.
When he's around,
Your heart begins to race.
When he's at the same place,
At the same time as you.
That's breathtaking.
When he whispers in your ear,
Your body gets so weak.
When he leans in to kiss you,
And you wake up from that dream.
That's breathtaking.
That's breathtaking!! :lol:
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| Does age matter? |
| 04.20.04 (8:26 am) [edit] |
Read this in a magazine, and was really shocked by my reaction. I just totally scared myself with the force of emotion I felt about this. So I decided to post it here and see what others reaction to the age difference question. This is the story in a nutshell, as told by a 23yr old woman in love with a 56yr old man:
[b]Hi -- I'm wondering whether anyone has experience with or advice about age gap relationships. I'm a 23-year-old female in love with a 56-year-old man. This isn't fleeting -- we've known each other for about 7 years, and I know I'll never find someone I feel more strongly about. Just knowing he's in the same room fills me with a happiness I've never known before. He's my best friend. And he feels the same way.
But, I don't know what to think about a potential future together. He is tortured by guilt about what people might think of him if they found out about us. Both of us are apprehensive about the gap between our physical capabilities, which is bound to increase. He's terrified of feeling inadequate.
I'm mature for my age and have always preferred the company of older people. He is youthful and energetic. But I can't realistically see what we will be in 10, 20, 30 years. And I waste far too much time wishing he were "only" 46. What kind of a future is feasible for us? Do you think it's a good idea to plan it together? I'm lost. I haven't told anyone about this, and I am desperate for advice. Thank you! -Am I Too Young For Him?[/b]
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| Love Songs. |
| 04.19.04 (5:54 am) [edit] |
Just being all sentimental today. Hung out with my girlfriends last night and we were chatting about favourite songs. They all have favourite love songs, they listen to with their guys. I just sat there, even when I was dating a guy I never had a love song.... is that strange? If I even think about it, I have lots of songs I love but a favourite, well I dont know. If I was to choose though, would probably be from:
[b]I Knew I Loved You [/b] by Savage Garden
OR
[b]Wonderful Tonight [/b] by Eric Clapton
OR
[b]Everything I Do (I Do For You) [/b] by Bryan Adams
[b]What is your favorite love song?[/b] :D
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| Dilemma! |
| 04.16.04 (9:59 am) [edit] |
Just read Priscagal's blog and it kinda brought home my situation too. I got a huge problem, a good friend of mine who I've known for years, asked me out on a date and if we could go further then friends. But, I've never thought of him as anything more then a friend, and I really don't want to break his heart.. What should I tell him? I want to let him down gently. I just dont feel for him like that at all, more a brotherly thing. I knew he liked me, but always thought it would never be a problem. I dont want to lose his friendship, but I know guys and rejection dont mix. What do I do?
[b]P.S. This is the msg he sent me via AIM:[/b]
I know you know that I like you and I truly think youre the greatest and l've never felt the same around anyone else like I do around you and I really wanted to know if maybe................. just maybe we could move our friendship to the next level.. go out sometime on a date, but not a major rush Into things just slow at first to see how it goes and if anything we can move on from there..
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| Jazz Music |
| 04.15.04 (9:31 am) [edit] |
Just recently went to buy some cd's. Have already fulfilled part of my promise for this year and that is to sample different types of music all year round. So that either way I can decide once and for all whether I hate or like a particular genre.
So I was just wondering if anybody had some good recommendations for any jazz cd's or jazz artists? Something on a bit more of the funk side... Thanks! :)
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| Feeling Insecure. |
| 04.14.04 (7:34 am) [edit] |
Hey you guys,
Just wanted to hear others opinion about this matter. There is a girlfriend of mine. After being apart from her boyfriend for a couple of weeks she get's really insecure about herself. She starts wondering if he still loves her enough, if he still thinks she's the cutest and the sexiest and if she's still the girl he fell in love with.
Of course he tells her he loves her and they are actually making plans about moving in together. But at the same time the lack of physical affection, like him playing with her hair, or a kiss on her forehead or anything, makes her insecure. They have talked about it, but she doesn't want to bring it up all the time, cuz she doesn't want to whine about it. I mean, there's nothing he could do about their being apart, or to make time go faster.
Anyways, I was just wondering if anyone here went through the same thing, or maybe knows how I can reassure her to just accept it when he says there's nothing to worry about.......
Thanx :)
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| Online relationships are frustrating. |
| 04.12.04 (8:20 am) [edit] |
Do any of you feel that it is SO completely frustrating sometimes to have an online relationship of any kind? Met a few people online who have become very good friends, but I get so frustrated that we cant catch up when I really need them. Always have to wait for the next time they are online.
What do you think is the biggest downfall (hardest part) of having an online relationship?
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| I hate being single. |
| 04.11.04 (6:13 am) [edit] |
It was another saturday night alone. I don't understand it at all. I am the only one in my group of 5 girlfriends without a boyfriend. Believe it or not, it was only in the last year all of my friends have "coupled up" I'm starting to wonder if there is something wrong with me. I'm 25 years old and am told all the time that I'm very pretty and I'm friendly, but still single.
I haven't been on a date in like 4 months. I go out with my friends at least twice a week. We go to the bars and nightclubs. I get attention but not asked out. Not that I would expect to meet someone at that kind of place. I work for a large company and don't meet anyone there. I just don't get it. I don't have any children. And not that I am knocking single women with children, its just that I thought it would be easier for someone like me with no kids to date.
Two of my friends are moms but are coupled up and its not the babies fathers! I really am feeling sorry for myself. Does anyone have any pointers or words of advice for the single women out there who wonder where "The One" is? I do want to be married someday but I would just like to find someone to love for now and someone to love me too. :(
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| Girlfriends are more caring.... |
| 04.11.04 (6:03 am) [edit] |
Was reading a mag last night and there was an article that said Girls are kinder and more caring than boys. Or at least they are more likely than boys to see themselves that way. I thought about it for a while and I believe it's very true. I have lots of guys I hang out with but if I ever needed to talk to some one it would be one of my girlfriends.
I've found girls to be more empathetic, more responsible and generally more socially competent. This is no slur on guys, just that women tend to be better listeners than guys. They are more understanding when friends are upset or angry and more likely to lend an ear and show concern for others in difficulties.
My boyfriend Doug thinks this is a load of bull. Girls' social competence might be influenced by the more intimate nature of female friendships, or it might be genetic not sure but I love my girlfriends, they are always there for me. Do you think your girlfriends are better listeners? Anyone care to comment? :)
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| At a loss. |
| 04.10.04 (8:43 am) [edit] |
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Didnt know it would be so complicated to set this whole blog up. I dont know how or where to get a banner from, cant get any background graphics, and I'm still trying to figure out where my first post has gone. It's not showing in the list of recent posts. Help somebody! Please leave me some tips on how to make my blog look funky. :(
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| Sugar 'n' Spice..... |
| 04.10.04 (8:27 am) [edit] |
This is my first fumble into the world of blogging. Seemed like a really kewl idea at the time, but now I'm at a loss for words to write.
Seen so many blogs, read so many blogs, skimmed so many blogs... so I want to blog too. Hopefully I will have plenty to write about and share with the world wide web.
Blogging rocks!! :wink:
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